Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
