As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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