How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
