I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
