found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
