i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
