u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
