I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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