you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize