I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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