Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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