Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
