Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
