i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
