I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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