I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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