Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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