I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
