Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
