Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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