i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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