Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't deserve a penis
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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