I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
