im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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