I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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