Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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