i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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