Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
