I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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