Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
