After last night, I could never be a politician.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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