i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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