I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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