There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
