i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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