The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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