Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
