you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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