So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
