I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
