i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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