so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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