stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
