Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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