I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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