everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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