see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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