I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
