it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
