Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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