You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
