help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
