just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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