Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
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