Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
